Rainbows, and connections.

 I was thinking about my pets the other morning. All of them, the ones who have had to leave my life and the ones still here. My kids do tease me about the rainbow bridge. I suppose they think it is cute that their mom believes in it.

The Rainbow Bridge

By the edge of a woods, at the foot of a hill,

Is a lush, green meadow where time stands still.

Where the friends of man and woman do run,

When their time on earth is over and done.

For here, between this world and the next,

Is a place where each beloved creature finds rest.

On this golden land, they wait and they play,

Till the Rainbow Bridge they cross over one day.

No more do they suffer, in pain or in sadness,

For here they are whole, their lives filled with gladness.

Their limbs are restored, their health renewed,

Their bodies have healed, with strength imbued.

They romp through the grass, without even a care,

Until one day they start, and sniff at the air.

All ears prick forward, eyes dart front and back,

Then all of a sudden, one breaks from the pack.

For just at that instant, their eyes have met;

Together again, both person and pet.

So they run to each other, these friends from long past,

The time of their parting is over at last.

The sadness they felt while they were apart,

Has turned into joy once more in each heart.

They embrace with a love that will last forever,

And then, side-by-side, they cross over… together.

Pets, like people, all have different communication styles. My cats have all been so incredibly special. There was Spike, he was all black, not a smidgeon of white anywhere on him. He came to us in 1979, right around Halloween. You could almost say he was my first child, except back then I wasn't quite as cat crazy as I am now. I loved him, but I was busy with other things then - a new marriage and then having my babies. We had Spike longer than any cat since. He was 13 when his kidneys started to fail and I had to let him go. Here is Spike when he was still quite young.

After Spike was gone I found a kitten in a frozen pipe down behind the Tri-City Herald where I worked. I think it was about 1994. My son chose to name him Fred, after Frederick Douglass who he was studying in school. He really admired him and here is an example why:

"I prefer to be true to myself, even at the hazard of incurring the ridicule of others, rather than to be false, and to incur my own abhorrence." Frederick Douglass

So, Fred was a tiny little kitten and had to be fed with a dropper. We all loved him. We decided he would be an indoor cat. He was neutered, got his shots and had a good life. Then he started to spray in the house and we tried lots of things to deter him. I put bowls of lemons around in the places he had sprayed, laid down tin foil, even took him to the vet to be examined. The vet prescribed a small amount of valium for him to take each morning. One morning I accidentally took Fred's medicine while I was getting ready for work - but that is a different story. Anyway, the valium didn't work and Fred became an outdoor cat. (although he was allowed inside as long as he was on a lap or supervised closely) Fred got bigger and tougher and he certainly knew how to take care of himself. He was a beautiful cat - despite his torn ear and scars from his scrappy fights with other cats. The vet even suggested I show him at one time because he was so beautiful. As a baby he looked like he would be a siamese, but he grew stripes and was a white and grey tiger with lovely blue eyes:

Sometime in in the winter of 2002 Fred disappeared. I was a wreck, knocking on doors, running ads, checking the pound, crying - a lot. I ran so many ads that after a few of them my friends started telling me I had gone too far and needed to stop. I didn't know how to tell my son who was away at boot camp. So, I didn't. I grieved and decided I would never get another cat. Well, someone at work brought in pictures of some kittens who needed homes and of course, I chose one. I didn't name him, I was saving that job for Noah. The cat was part Bengal so I had started calling him Benny, but I hadn't settled on it.
When I went to Noah's boot camp graduation at MCRD in San Diego I told him I had some bad news. He said - "It's about Fred, isn't it?" He explained that as he was petting Fred before the recruiter picked him up to go to boot camp he knew it would be the last time. I showed him all the ads I had run and then told him I had a new kitten. I had video of him to show Noah and then I asked him what he wanted to name him. He said "How about Benny? I always wanted to name a cat Benny." (My dad's name was Benny - I forgot to mention that.) So, now Benny was part of the family. Noah went Camp Pendleton for the next part of his training, then to Fort Leonardwood, Missouri to become a  military policeman. Then Noah went to Iraq - twice. Benny was there for me the whole time. He became so dear to me. He knew when I was sad or worried and he found ways to help me. Benny was not much of a talker, but he could speak to you with his eyes. He was a lap cat, and slept on my bed. His only really annoying habit was that he liked to lick ears. Once when Anna was visiting she woke up in the morning and told me that she had woke up with slobber all over her from Benny licking her ears. Me, I slept with one ear on the pillow and my hand protecting the other. Well, Benny wasn't a healthy cat. He had asthma and many times I had to take him to the emergency vet. I babied him and stressed out over him and panicked any time I couldn't find him. He often hid from me - I think just to test my love. He only lived to the age of 5, when I awoke to find him lying very still cuddled by my side where he had silently passed. I still miss him so much.

While Benny was still alive I had found a litter of kittens under my house. I fed them and found homes for a couple until the mother decided to move them. She left the runt behind. I named him Cortez (well, I think Noah may have chosen that name too) and he fit in quite well. So well in fact that he and Benny became inseparable. Benny was definitely the alpha cat though. Corty would hide under the blanket that fell off to the side of the couch and I would sneakily pet him. He knew that he was not allowed on my lap or he would suffer the wrath of Benny later on. Corty became content to sit near and he got all the affection he required from Benny. After we lost Benny it was time for Cortez to be the alpha - the only cat. I tried to lavish him with affection but he still just liked to sit near me. He let me pet him, but he didn't like to be held. He would sleep at the foot of the bed but he never became a cuddler. He was very vocal though. Corty and I talked. Corty said "I love you" - although no one believes me. I did record it but unless you listen closely and have a good imagination you won't hear it. Mostly you will hear me coaxing him to say it.

Unfortunately Corty didn't live a long life either and died almost exactly one year after Benny. He had gotten a bladder infection, became blocked and had kidney damage.  I knew he was dying and the vet kept trying to help him. His last weekend I knew that on Monday I was going to have to let him go. On Sunday morning I got up in the night and looked under the bed. As I shone the flashlight on him he lifted his head and looked me in the eyes. I went back to bed. Awhile later I thought I felt his light little body jump up onto the bed. I sat up and tried to see in the dark and I saw him walking toward me - as I reached forward I realized he was not there. I fell asleep again and and when I checked on him in the early morning I found that he had passed. I believe it happened when I felt his spirit as he said goodbye to me. I tried everything to keep him with me but he had to leave me too. Noah put it sweetly when he said my cats just burned too brightly. One morning shortly after Cortez had died I was really missing him. As I walked into my bedroom with tears in my eyes and thinking about the rainbow bridge I saw this rainbow on my wall. I had never seen it there and have not seen it since. I do believe it was a message from Cortez.

Before Corty died I got engaged and my man moved in. He brought with him Thomas the terrible, my red-headed step cat. Thomas was not nice to Corty and I think I held a bit of a grudge against him when Corty died. I still fed him and held him and gave him love, but I didn't let myself love as I normally would. I didn't want to lose another dear friend. Well, Thomas has stolen my heart and he is very loyal, especially to me. He sleeps curled up next to my neck every night. He does talk, but it sounds more like constant whining. Not like Corty's sweet little unassuming meows. But Thomas is who he is and I love him like crazy. He knows when I need him. When I lost my job Thomas was there for me. He enjoys having me home instead of working each day. He often takes his paw and just gently touches my face when he knows I am sad. I know someday I will lose him too, but for now I will just enjoy him every moment that I can.

When I lose him I know he will join the others, there on the rainbow bridge and they will all get along. They will all wait for me. When I get there we will have a harmonious reunion and there will be no alpha cat, only the omega. It will be lovely.

Rainbow Connection by Kermit the Frog