'Miss Talent'

I was the 4th of 5 children, and it seems I was shy from the start. I can remember just trying to blend in, and in doing so, often times stood out as completely awkward. I loved my cousins, and looked forward to visits, but it took me hours to warm up to where I was able to join in. As you can imagine, this made it difficult to make friends as I started school. My first friends came to me when they moved in next door and my older sister met them first. I saw them sitting outside at our picnic table with Carol and my great idea was to hold my pretty doll out the screen door to entice them to want to play with me. I'm not sure when we first played together, but they became my first best friends. From the earliest school memories, I remember that spelling was all I had. It was my thing, the one thing that made me feel confident. The earliest of these contests was to write the words on little blackboards and hold them up, negating the need to have to speak in front of anyone. Looking back, I'm so thankful to whoever came up with that plan. As time went on, the tests were always written. I didn't win every time. There may have been a couple times that I came in second. I don't know if the accomplishment of being a good speller has anything to do with my wanting to be a good writer, but it seems like a likely combination. I'm still working on it. The shyness didn't disappear in the higher grades, but having an extrovert best friend from third grade on guaranteed me a place among my peers. Sometimes I was forced out of my comfort zone. In 7th grade my friend coerced me in to trying out for cheerleader. I was not good, but I was a cheerleader in 8th grade - and never again. There is evidence of this awkwardness in one particular photo where it is evident I could not hold a straight pose. My sophomore year I was again coerced, this time in to trying out for Miss Wilbur. Apparently the Pope twins said they would only do it if I would, but I suspect they were told the same thing in an effort to get more girls into the pageant. I got through it the only way I could, in costumes! For my talent I chose a pantomime, with face paint and all. Unfortunately, spelling would not have gotten me the talent award. I was not a princess or the queen, but my dad liked to say I stole the show. My junior year, still suffering with my 'affliction', I was excused from speech class, or at least the part of it that required the speaking. I'm not sure they did me any favors with that one. I probably would have benefitted from being pushed a little bit more during those years. Sometimes I am not sure how I ever went out into the workforce and found a job. I was a even a manager at one time, supervising people. I became a Diversity Facilitator, which was a really wonderful time in my life. I was given the opportunity to write stories and book reviews that were published in the paper. These are still the things I consider my biggest accomplishments outside of raising my children. You might think that I overcame the shyness, but I don't think introverts ever really overcome their introversion. And, should they? I think people learn ways of coping and find methods for getting through; and often for succeeding, without having to change the core of who they are. I still believe it's good to be encouraged to move beyond your familiar territory. Remember, you are not alone. I read that the majority of people aren't either, introvert or extrovert. They are actually somewhere in the middle (ambiverts). So I guess that means almost everyone can relate to you on some level. If you prefer quiet times at home - it's okay.