The rules changed and I was the last to know.

This is my third day of being sick and staying in all day. I feel a little bit worthless. It has always been hard for me to just relax, even when I am sick. I somehow feel as if I am being truant - but from what? Maybe I'm absent from life. Sometimes it seems that way. Thinking about it now I realize that I hardly use my voice when I am home alone, unless I talk to Thomas or Sophie. I do hear myself coughing a lot today - I wish I could stop. I am also dizzy and I think it is just from the cold but it is also listed as a side effect of the medication. I made myself do the dishes, go outside to look for something pretty to take a picture of and do a load of laundry. I am now back on the couch just letting time pass. I'm a bit like the cat, just lying around all day waiting for something to inspire me to move.

Here is a random thought - I keep having to backspace between sentences so that there is only one space. Did you know that you are now only supposed to have one space between sentences? Apparently they changed it sometime in the 70s - word just didn't spread to Wilbur High School in time for my business teacher to tell me. It is a hard habit to break, and a little disappointing to find out that I've been doing it wrong for more than three decades.

I miss going to my Keyboarding class. I hope I am well enough to get in there next week and stay on top of things. The thing about learning so many new things is that I am really afraid I will forget everything before I have a need to use it in any kind of job. Will I ever have a job again? I think that things have come too easily to me in life. That might sound funny since I have had to struggle and have really been a little bit poor most of my adult life. I never felt poor - I know there are people who have had worse problems than mine. I guess I felt a little charmed. I thought I was safe in my job and that I would be there until I decided it was time to leave. I never thought I would find myself trying to start over as I am now. Up until now I think I was still in denial, I thought I would just go back to work as soon as I felt ready. I never thought that it would be difficult for me to find a job that I wanted and that I was qualified for. I thought it would be easy. It is anything but easy and I am not charmed.