Lucy

 A beautiful soul has left the earth. Yesterday my mother-in-law passed away. Today I sit here thinking of her as my husband is getting on a plane. It's a windy, ugly day, which makes it seem even more sad, if that is possible. Lucy made me feel like family before I met her. I would see the letters she wrote to Darrell and Heidi and she always asked about me. I was included. The first time I met her was in New Mexico in 2001. Her dad (Grandpa Joe) was turning 102, and. as was tradition, there was a big party in the works. Being a sometimes awkward, always introvert, I often felt out of place - but not with Lucy. She would wrap you in a hug and express her love in so many ways.

Through the years there weren't enough opportunities to visit. Looking back, I know we could have tried harder. There are always regrets when someone passes away. Now we have to let go of that regret and focus on continuing to live a life that would honor her memory.

What I know about Lucy is that she was a ferocious momma. I've heard countless stories of how she protected her children, and many times, her sisters, nieces and nephews. Darrell said she would fight with her fists and she would usually win. She had learned to be strong. She worked hard all of her life. She met her first husband, Roy, when she was in high school. This is something we just learned on our last visit to her in September. She gave birth to Darrell when she was 19 years old, and had two more boys within just a handful of years. The marriage was crumbling when Demie Joe was a newborn, and tragically, Roy drowned when Darrell was just 5 years old. Lucy was widowed with 3 young boys. She continued to work hard through their young lives. I'm told she was an amazing bar tender, and I can attest to her being a great cook. She also cleaned the church, but we don't think she was paid for that job. It was a labor of love. 

Lucy had the faith of a mustard seed - she prayed daily. We always knew that whatever happened in life, Lucy was praying for us. Every afternoon she would drive to the church to say prayers. After COVID, she would just pull into the church parking lot, roll down her window and pray. We were with her recently on one of her trips to the church, and I found myself straining to hear her words - even though I knew it was a private moment. I was able to make out that she prayed for all of us, including my own children. 

Lucy's Grotto

Lucy met the love of her life, Maga and married him when she was about 30. She gave birth to Rita and the boys were thrilled to have a baby sister. Sadly, Maga was killed in a car accident when Rita was just a baby, and once again Lucy was left to raise her kids on her own. She did it well. She even found time to get her GED and played on a winning women's volleyball team.

She knew how to live life on a small income. Darrell often talks about the monthly grocery trips to Silver City. The month started out with a bucket of chicken from KFC and a car full of food, and ended with them living mostly on tortillas and beans. These were happy years, in spite of the challenges. Grandpa Joe was the constant father figure, showing the boys how to fish, hunt and work. They got their work ethic from both their mother and their grandfather. They also got a tinge of stubbornness, strong wills and quick wittedness
. 

Later in life Lucy met Bob Barnes and married him. This was the time in her life when she didn't have to work as hard, but she still did. They built their house themselves, from the ground up. It seems that there was nothing she couldn't do. The house is surrounded by a beautiful rock wall, including steps and a lovely grotto that Lucy built mostly by herself. During her marriage to Bob they were able to do quite a lot of traveling.  Lucy and Bob rode all the way from New Mexico to Wisconsin on a motorcycle. Darrell still laughs when he tells how when they rode back he went to pick her up in Soccoro and drive her the rest of the way home, as her "butt couldn't take no more." Bob died shortly after I met Darrell, so I did not get to meet him. Lucy never married again, although she did get teased a lot about men by her children. 

She always seemed fearless to me, except for one thing, she did not like to fly. Things she did like; gardening, cooking, sewing and watching her "story" - The Bold and The Beautiful. You couldn't call Lucy when her story was on. She liked Judge Judy and Whoopie Goldberg. She did not like Steve Harvey. She was honest about her feelings, but not always about her health - always saying she was fine, although often times she was not. She had a few quirks, which made her more endearing. She kept a neat house and was never wasteful. It could be too hot in the summer and too cold in the winter, but she did not waste by turning on the air conditioner or heater! 

On our last visit she helped us clean 2 bags of green chilies for freezing and then did another tamale tutorial. Sadly, I never did become an expert, as Lucy joked when she cut into a scant tamale and said, "This must be one that Nancy made." She didn't often tease me, but oh I loved it when she did. Mostly, she just made me feel special, more special than I've ever believed myself to be. I'm so extremely grateful that she was in my life and so heartbroken to lose her. It's not even been an entire day and already I've seen strength from her children that I know came from her. I've seen love and forgiveness, acceptance and hope. I know there will be more. There will be more tears, more sadness and then, after a time, more laughter and love. This is what she taught.