Torn between two houses

After 33 years in the same home I have moved. This is big.
The cat has adjusted after hiding under a bed for a week. I'm still working on it.  I've had a ton of emotions over the past few weeks and for the most part I'm really happy. My old house is a mobile home. I bought it with my first husband in 1982 and we put it on a rented lot. I now refer to this as the "Verbena house" - which really sounds quite stately. The Verbena house sits on a lot in "Country River Estates". This name is also a bit misleading. Don't get me wrong, you can see the river from the mobile home court if you walk down the road, across a ditch and up the dike to the levee. I took many walks up there over the years and filled Facebook and Instagram with photos from those walks. I have to say - I miss it. I still tear up at moments. We still own the Verbena house, but it's almost ready to be sold. We've been busy cleaning it up and painting every room. I go there most days of the week to eat my lunch, partly because I can putter around and do little things, but mostly because it is my habit.  As lunch time approaches when I'm at work I feel a bit confused and unsure what to do. My new house is too far from work to go home for lunch and the Verbena house is empty. Lunch time has been sad for me lately. I find myself talking to the house, and the people and the pets who shared it with me through the years. I listen for the voices of my children and the sound of their footsteps when they were small. I think somehow the house has held onto all of my memories and will keep them. I'm slightly afraid that I'll leave it all behind and forget when I leave for the last time. That house has protected me and been my fortress and my sanctuary. That house was home.
I've had people say nasty things about my little mobile home. Through the years there have been a few mean people who have insinuated that me and my kids were "trailer court trash" - based solely on our residence. I have to add here, the trailer park is a nice neighborhood. In 33 years of living there I never had one problem. I miss it.

Our house was not trashy, not dirty. When people came in they often remarked at how nice it was. I was 21 years old when Norm and I decided to buy the double-wide mobile home with only $800 down. He worked hard to support his family and make payments on our home. When our marriage fell apart it became my job to take care of things and I paid the house off myself. I was pretty proud about that. Of course the house had issues - and I was not equipped to maintain it. Once Darrell came into my life my house started to improve little by little. Siding got replaced; windows, carpet, cabinets and new floors were put in. Oh, and paint, lots of paint. There are definitely bonuses that come with marrying a painter.
So, we're in our new house now - the house on Cobblestone Court. It is a pretty house, and just about exactly what we were looking for. The house is the perfect size and the yard is amazing. It is a dream come true for us. We haven't been able to really enjoy it much, since we're still taking care of the Verbena house - but at least once a day one of us will say to the other, "I love you and I love our house."
As Darrell often advertises on his tee-shirts, Life is Good. I'm sure there will be tears when my "trailer"  becomes home for someone new. I'll leave behind some special things on that rented lot as well - Sophie and Corty are buried there, as are several unidentified cats and a goldfish or two. There is a beautiful miniature rose bush, a rose of sharon, a spirea and my favorite, the lilac that grew from a start from the house I grew up in. I have photos of them all, but I wish I could bring them with me. I will miss my trees and also my birds, some who I believe come back year after year just to see me. I miss the way it feels to pull up in front of my home, where my kids grew up and really, where I grew up. Tears are falling again - but I am happy.