Look to the Stars

Last night I watched the Screen Actors Guild Awards show. I knew I would wake up to the Facebook comments this morning about celebrities being out of touch and so on and so forth.
This has been on my mind since Meryl Streep spoke out and was called over-rated by Trump. During the Women's Marches I read countless remarks about the celebrities - such as "who cares what they think?"

Here's what I think. They are citizens of this country, they are members of this human race. What they have to say is just as important as any of us spouting our opinions on Facebook and other social media. They just happen to be in a position where more people will hear them - and guess who put them in that position? We did. We made them famous.
Do you watch television, go to the movies, buy magazines? You made them famous and you made their voices more prominent than your own.
I care what they think, just like I care what the rest of the country thinks, what the rest of the world thinks.

Someone said this morning that they have equal pay. How do you know? I am sure there is the same inequality in pay in Hollywood as we encounter in our own lives, whether it is due to color or gender or something else.  Sure, there is a big difference in the size of their checks compared to ours, but again, we did that.

By the way - if you don't care what celebrities think, why did you elect one?

"The yellow-haired Trump. We don't like him."

My Facebook feed is full of almost nothing but shared articles right now. I suppose this is true for a lot of people, but it used to be unusual for me. It feels like there's nothing personal going on, but truly it is extremely personal for me and so many others. I'm no political expert, but I instinctively have always leaned toward having views more in keeping with the liberal side of things. I have never voted for a Republican for President. I'm not saying I never would - but I've always preferred the Democratic candidates. This has been a tough year.

After the election I felt guilty. I felt guilty for not being more open with my own feelings and using my own words. I realize I wouldn't have changed any minds. I can tell that even my closest friends who are on the other side of things seem to be staunchly on the other side of things. Anyway - it would have only mattered if I could have changed the minds of the electorates, given the outcome of the popular vote.
I should mention - after the election I was also very angry. I'm still angry but it's less focused on the people who voted Trump in and more focused on what is happening now.

So here we are with a new President who comes in with the lowest approval rating ever. EVER. I've had a lot of people, even relatives posting things telling us to GET OVER IT. I capitalized that because that is how it has been put out there. I'm going to let you in on a little secret - you also won't change my mind. We will just have to agree to disagree.

I do ask one thing of my friends. If, as Trump continues to attack civil rights, women's rights, human decency - if you should decide that you regret your vote, please don't let pride (or your hatred of Hillary) keep you from admitting it and speaking out. We can't let him destroy our country. We can't let him turn us against each other. We can't allow him to undermine the news. Please don't let this man go down in history as the new normal for a leader. Speak out and be honest without trying to justify his win by deflecting on how we didn't have a good candidate.

I have a lot of friends who disagree with me completely, and to be honest, I probably unfollowed them a long time ago. For the most part it's been fine. I stay off their posts and they stay off mine. There have been a few who have come after me on my Facebook page. So, here's the thing. If you sent me a friend request, after having no communication with me for say, 40 years, what was your motivation? I try to be polite in life and I don't like to hurt people's feelings so when I get a friend request from someone who is not really a friend I have to sort of weigh it. If I've never heard of the person I just click that X, but if I thought they were nice when I was a kid, or I worked with them, or if we interacted on a support forum...well, sometimes I go ahead and approve the request. So, here we are, friends on Facebook and I post something you don't like.... why, if you thought enough of me to be my "friend"... why do you choose to jump on my post with some negative and insulting comment? Why is it necessary for you to deflect and try to argue with me on my post? That is not what a real friend does.

I don't do this to my friends. If my right-leaning friends post things I don't like or find honestly, offensive or insulting I unfollow or just scroll on by. This is how I handle it.

It's not just the right-wing stuff I don't like, I have had to unfollow some Democrat and Liberal pages that somehow got into my feed because I don't trust them.
I've seen some pretty awful things on my friends pages over the past 8 years, and especially over the past year. I ignored them. Don't get me wrong - they caused me some pain.
Realizing your friends see things completely opposite of how you see them can be disheartening. They think they're right. I think I'm right. I ponder how we can be so different and still be so connected emotionally - but I know we are still friends and I hope that never changes.

I've read posts about giving Trump a chance. What does that mean? Does that mean sit back and be quiet and see what it's like 4 years from now? Seriously, I don't understand. He is already doing the things we feared - the time to speak up is now. He has shown us and is still showing us who he is. 

I see where people say they don't particularly like him either, but just accept it. We can't. We can't. 

I think the Women's March was amazing. On the day of the march - I was still so upset over the inauguration that I changed my profile picture on Facebook to a black box. I felt so depressed, hopeless, disappointed and irrelevant. I sat on my couch feeling hopeless all day while others were making a real statement. My daughter marched in Seattle and I'm so proud of her. She shared her pride and elation after she marched and I could hear in her voice how much better she felt. This is the kind of activism that can and has created change.

I wish it didn't have to be this way - I wish we could all be on the same page, or at least have a President who we could all accept. I'm struggling to put this into words, which is why I don't post my own thoughts on it very often.  Trump is a racist - he has proven it by his words and actions, so yes speaking up for people of color and protecting their rights is imperative. Trump is a misogynist, so protecting women's rights is also something we must fight for. Trump is a lot of things, but one thing he is not is presidential. 

Yes, we are all humans, but there are many different groups within that broad description and there is  not equality. People who don't seem to understand why we need to march for women's rights are usually white -  and yes, privileged because of that. They are comfortably middle-class and haven't had to worry about their health insurance. I know this isn't true of every Trump supporter, but it is true for a lot of people in my circle of friends. I ask them to think of others, to think of my daughter, my mother, the millions who will be hurt by Trump's policies.

That is why we protest. We protest not just by marching, but by not being afraid to speak up. For two weeks now I've had Tom Petty's voice in my head whenever I log in to Facebook and someone says to get over it. I won't back down. I won't be afraid any longer of losing friends because of my values and beliefs. The ones who love me will not leave me.