I Have the Power

I haven't finished reading “The Power of Now.” I want to, and someday I will. The book was a birthday gift from my daughter in 2011 – right after I lost my job. She wrote inside –

“Dear Mom,

With the dust jacket missing, this book looks kind of cool and classic, not trendy and hippie like some people think. Anyway, it’s kind of silly but sort of nice. I love you and happy birthday! You have the power.

Love, Anna”

I can’t help but think there is something in this book that I need to read. I have read the beginning chapter at least three times. I have thumbed through and read random passages, and I have started to read the last chapter. I have found it useful, as I lay in bed trying to turn off my own self-chatter. It has made me more aware of the fact that I never let my mind rest. It’s no wonder I can’t sleep and wake up exhausted every day. There is a reason that Anna gave the book to me. I haven’t asked her what it is, and I’m not even sure she knows. I am just sure that things happen for a reason – I will read this book.

I think the cover, without the dust jacket, is beautiful. It is patina in color, which is almost enough for me to just appreciate it as a decoration in my home.  I usually refer to the color as “bird egg blue” – which is my favorite. So, now it’s out there, I didn’t read the book. I suppose this qualifies for the ‘failure wall.’ I am going to call the book “The Power of Someday,” and let it give me hope. 

A poem

As I reflect upon…

Photos of my cats,

I realize – my seclusion is my own creation.

When did I become so excluded from my friends?

All work and no play,

Makes love an intrusion.

Being a stranger, even to myself

Is a lonely place to be.

I never knew I could become

Less me.

This One's For Dad.

Fun with the old player piano

Today I cleaned the player piano with Murphy’s oil soap. When I got done, I played three piano rolls, “Kansas City”, “Yellow Bird” and “Won’t You Come Home Bill Bailey”. Those were three of Dad’s favorites. My dad bought the player piano back in the early 1980s.

I was working at 'Hickory Farms' in the mall when my mom called me. She was laughing when she said, “Listen to your dad, he’s playing the piano.” I was confused as I listened to lively piano music coming through the phone. We had a piano for many years. Each of us girls took piano lessons and practiced our recital pieces over and over on it, but I had never heard my dad play it. After a minute Mom explained that Dad had bought an antique player piano and some rolls for it. I’ll never forget my first visit home after that, seeing Dad sitting at his piano, grinning from ear to ear as he played “Beer Barrel Polka” and all the others I mentioned.

We all had so much fun with the piano. Mom and Dad bought a lot of new rolls to play and we would often sing along. Dad died a few years after buying the piano, but playing his favorites has always been one way to bring him back, even for a few moments. It always makes me smile.

When Mom had to sell the big house we had grown up in, and move to a smaller one, she didn’t want to take the piano. She gave it to me. My house is even smaller than Mom’s, but I made room for Dad’s piano.

I hope to move to a bigger home someday. Right now it is just a dream, but every time I look at potential homes, I am looking for a special place where the piano will fit. There are things we keep – for me; the piano is one of those things.

When Ava Crowder says "Peanut Buster Parfait," Darrell listens.

I’ve been trying to diet. I was sabotaged by the power of suggestion, television, my husband and myself. Really, I can only blame myself.

The other night we were watching one of our favorite shows – Justified. In one scene, the Boyd Crowder character said he wanted to own a Dairy Queen franchise. His significant Ava mentioned the notorious Peanut Buster Parfait. My husband LOVES the Peanut Buster Parfait.

So, last night we decided to drive to Bed, Bath and Beyond to use our 20% off coupon to buy some coffee. On the way home Darrell asked if I wanted to go to Dairy Queen! I knew we were going no matter how I felt about it. The suggestion by Ava had taken hold of my husband and he couldn’t get past it.

I am in charge of what goes into my mouth, whether someone drives me to Dairy Queen or not. I could have ordered a glass of water.  In my own defense, I did order a mini strawberry and chocolate blizzard.  Normally I would have gone for something far gooier - maybe with chocolate and caramel syrup. For a mini - my blizzard seemed substantial - and not worth the calories.

Whatever twists and turns are to come on Justified, I can’t envision Boyd and Ava as happy Dairy Queen owners.  I don’t know if my diet will be successful, but my Darrell will have his Peanut Buster Parfait!